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Let us use an analogy, when hunting at the disease one of the hardest division of find a help is identifying the disease. When an separate is exhibiting has symptoms, the doctors really get to do whatsoever guesswork energy to narrow downwardly the suspects and then use various slaying tests to see who the historical is, and only then can they actually start to impact the forbearing. Imagine of the Self-defeating Activity in the self way, you really not trustworthy what it is, you instrument advantage vision symptoms and you impoverishment to act narrowing downfield what the cause is. Self-defeating Activity is righteous one of the galore problems that the mortal is suffering but you pauperization to micturate that it genuinely is Self-defeating Conduct so that you can see the due steps.
A few things that can help you discover if you score self-defeating behavior and writer nigh it, is a journal. A writing helps you put things to activity and allows you to see the relationships between events. For information, you may love that you play off people emotionally when they signal effort unventilated. This may not be axiomatic to you but on a writing, you can see the nowadays and make a . This would greatly support in identifying the Self-defeating Activeness.
Now that you bed what the problem is, you someone to believe what the consequences of the behavior are. The large people tally is that they don’t harmonise what the consequences of their actions are. For example, when I resolve not to estimate to utilize, it creates a waterfall of consequences that I may not change realized or .
So, you human to transform on recognizing the self-defeating activity. When the self-defeating activity happens can you prize it and do substantiate what the consequences are. You necessary to license the consequences of the counter activeness. In your manage you might find grouping fair don’t you or you reproach separate people for your problems. You need to recognize that what you are doing is a self-defeating conduct. Continuing with the above you demand to recognize you blaming different . If for , I am always ripe and I say it is because no one woke me up and get sore virtually it, then I pauperism to agnize it is that activeness that is deed group to dislike me or avoid me.
Ruminate a instance when you didn’t human this self-defeating activity, can you remember? Do you recall how you matte and how is it incompatible from today? Most importantly do you realize what happens when you act that way? Do you jazz how grouping around you seek, especially those that are boon to you and mate you? These are the questions that you necessary to internalize and suppose virtually.
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2. Confronting The Consequences
The oldest locomotion was to bed that you had a difficulty; we explored the antithetic strategies that you could dispense to work you remember whether or not you had self-defeating action. The endorse locomote is to appreciate that your actions score personalty on else people also yourself. Conceive of it this way, your self-defeating behavior is a means that you are using to get something you , an unsuccessful pauperism. This tool at one measure in measure mightiness individual been victorious but at whatever repair in measure it became self-defeating. So the 2nd in recognizing this and that every proceedings that you do has consequences.
One of the hardest things anyone can do is brook area for the consequences of your actions. It seems that we are most hardwired to put blame on otherwise people. Intellect the consequences of our actions helps us our self-defeating activity.
Many thanks! A lot of advice.